Sindhi Marriage Customs

As a girl and the boy reach marriagable age the Sindhi family, like other Indian families, start searching for a suitable match. Sindhis have special pundits called Mehraj who specialize in the field of match making.A Guryanni(a lady)also specialises in carrying horoscopes of eligible boys and girls from house to house.This custom is still prevelent in Mumbai, which houses a major population of Sindhis in India.

Once a match is fixed, the boy goes over to the girl’s house and decides if she is the suitable match for him. The same applies to the girl. After the approval of both the families, the first formal ceremony takes place. The girl/boy is given mishri and coconut to signify that she/he is the one, who belongs to the other family. This is called Kuchcha shagun or Kachchi Misri.

The formal engagement ceremony or the Pakki Mishri takes place a week before the wedding. It is like any other Indian engagement ceremony. The boy and the girl exchange rings and there is a get together of family members and close friends. Ten days before the wedding, a satsang in the name of the Sindhi God, Jhulelal is organised. This is called Berana and is an optional ceremony. It signifies the start of the ceremonies for the forthcoming wedding.

This is followed by a Mehendi ceremony, where the girl’s hands and feet are adorned with pretty mehendi patterns. At this time the women in the family get together, play music. Folk songs are also sung on this day. Another interesting event on this day is the Wanwas. In this the girl and the boy are asked to wear their old clothes, which are torn and discarded once the ceremony is over. These clothes are then wrapped into a bag and thrown into the sea/river.

Another ceremony which takes place is ‘Santh’ where seven married women put oil on the girl’s head. It is performed the night before the wedding. The bride is then asked to break the cover of an earthen pot placed before her in a go. If she succeeds, it is considered to be a good sign.

Like the bachelor partyhosted by the groom’s side there is a party which the bride gives her girlfriends as a maiden called the ladies sangeet.

The Saagri (showering of the bride with flowers) is performed on the same evening.This is a beautiful and special ceremony. The groom's sisters(one should be married), cousins and the small children from his side go to the bride's place with the jewellery made of mogra(white flowers).Then the sisters dress the bride in a silk saree and then adorn her with all the flower jewellery. In the night the groom visits the bride's house where he is showered with garlands. A feast is held for the family. This ceremony signifies the blessings which are showered on the bride in the form of flowers.

The wedding day begins with a series of traditional rituals. The first is the thread ceremony, without which the wedding is incomplete. Previously, this ceremony was conducted once the boy reached adolescence, but now, men prefer it just before marriage. Thereafter, oil and haldi is applied to his hair and body and from then, he cannot move out of the house. His brother-in-law sits next to him with a knife, symbolic of a protector. Similarly, the bride too goes through a haldi and oil massage ritual at her place. Haldi is meant to work as a cleanser and purifier. The bride too is not allowed to leave the house after this ceremony.

Sindhi weddings take place either in a temple, a gurudwara or a marriage hall. A sheet is placed between the bride and the groom when they sit for the ceremony, as they are not supposed to see each other’s face. They are asked to place their feet in a plate and it is believed that the partner whose feet is higher, will be the dominating one. Then the bride’s mother washes their feet with milk and the pundit begins the religious chants. Shortly, the sheet is removed and the married couple take seven perambulations, conducted as per vedic rites around the sacred fire.

After the wedding is over, the bride goes over to the groom’s house and opens the door of her new home. Then she sprinkles milk over the house and puts salt in the hands of all her in-laws. The salt is given back to her with the belief that just as it mixes with everything and becomes invisible, the bride too mingle with new her family and become one with them.This ceremony is called Datar.It is symbolic of warding off evil. This brings an end to the wedding rituals.